How do I describe this flick? Or, better yet, when would have been the first time I saw this flick? Well, for sure the year it came out, 1999. I am already out of high school and for sure working at a comic book store. Is Blockbuster still around? Has to be. So this would have 100% been a flick that Glen, Mark, and I would have found on a shelf in Blockbuster and immediately been like, what is this? How did we not see this? How did we not hear about this? All the normal questions that we would ask each other in Blockbuster. Remember this is before social media and the internet like it is today. So movies got released, and maybe went to the theater, but if you were not religiously reading Variety, or maybe even Total Film, you missed stuff. This is one of those flicks. Watched in the Uchrin Family basement on some random night for sure.
How do I start this one off? As I was just typing to Larry about this flick yesterday, imagine someone decided to make a Mortal Kombat version of Beowulf, when listening to Nine Inch Nails and cast Beowulf with the original Highlander. The story is technically “Beowulf vs. Grendel,” but this is not the epic poem version. Beowulf (Christopher Lambert) shows up at a dark and dingy castle, but someone kept on the neon lights. I always assumed it was the sets from the 1994 Crow film. The place is being tormented by Grendel, an invisible creature that rips people apart. I am sold. Beowulf decides to help slay the monster after speaking with the king. That is where I will leave the plot, because it is a bit different from your normal literary version of Beowulf. But, again, this one has the goddamn Highlander.
Lambert plays Beowulf in the exact same way he plays Connor MacLeod, Raiden, and every other role he has ever had. You can at times barely understand/hear what he is saying, but always with that charming smirk and his laugh. Not naming his flicks… because he is the Highlander. I guess I should name a couple others I love: he won a Cesar for Luc Besson’s Subway. Love that flick. He is Brennick in Fortress and Fortress 2. Also love. He is in a super-underrated flick called The Hunted (add it to Vol 3 of my series). Gunmen, Mean Guns, Resurrection. Man, I have seen everything he has essentially been in. Anyway, he is great in this. Gets to swing a sword in this one which is the best Lambert.
Let’s talk about the cast. The sultry daughter/love interest, Kyra, is played by Rhona Mitra. Yes, one of the hottest women in Hollywood for a minute in time. I thought she was the sexually assaulted woman in Hollow Man before this, nope. This is her first big role. You will also know her from Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, but I love her in Doomsday. I watched it recently, and it is still awesome. Is there an extended cut? I need that. Another gem is Grendel’s mom, played by Layla Roberts. Playmate in 1997, but she is the stripper dancing on Buscemi in Armageddon. Another cool cast member is Oliver Cotton, who plays King Hrothgar. I don’t think he has acted in much, but he is the killer in Hiding Out, that ’80s Jon Cryer flick. I saw that guy at SDCC one year. Super-nice. The last cast member to mention is the Weaponsmaster, played by Charlie Robinson. You would know him as Mac on Night Court. Okay, last one, I swear. A random townsperson in the beginning of the flick is played by Patricia Velasquez, who is Anck-Su-Namun in The Mummy flicks. Great cast.
Now let’s talk crew, because here’s where it gets weird. The director is Graham Baker, who you should know as the guy behind Alien Nation. Yes, the very underrated sci-fi cop movie where James Caan teams up with an alien named Sam Francisco. Larry and I love that flick. I think Mark is also a solid fan. Walker wears a Dallas Cowboys shirt, he loves that flick so much. Crazy to think this guy wasn’t a more prolific film director but not much on his filmography. The screenplay is by Mark Leahy, who, honestly, besides this, only touched the Jeremy Irons Dungeons & Dragons flick. Nothing else. But he deserves credit for this flick because I didn’t know I needed it until I needed it.
The soundtrack/music for this flick is awesome as well. The soundtrack is overseen by Ben Watkins who is from the band Juno Reactor. The soundtrack is full of industrial and electronic music. KMFDM and Junkie XL to name a few.
Quotes? Oh yes. You bet this movie has quotes.
- Kyra: “You should be dead” Beowulf: “Many mimes”
- King: “Then, what brings you here?” Beowulf: “The darkness”
- Beowulf: “I’m like you, I am one of the damned”
Okay, a last bit of cool info about the film. The film was said to be filmed in Romania. Which is super-cool, but doing some more digging it appears it was filmed in actual Transylvania. How cool is that? Another cool fact is Lambert passed on the second Mortal Kombat to make this flick, which is why James Remar is in the Mortal Kombat sequel. I remember the battle scene against Grendel and I swear it reminds me of Split Second with the water and the underground setting. Guess I know what I am watching next. Looks to be playing on Apple tv for $4, which is the most I could ask anyone to pay for this. Unless you want to borrow my VHS.
